Earlier this year, I moved to Los Angeles without really knowing anyone there. There’s something a little scary and lonely about moving to a new place, especially one as big and sprawling as Los Angeles.
Would I make friends? Would I find my people? What’s the dating scene like? Would LA embrace me into its warm, smog-filled arms, or ghost me for not adhering to its strict beauty standards (botox, filler, upper bleph for my sagging lids!)
At some point, I came across a singles event in LA called The Feels. It promised facilitated connection, play, and a somatic experience for singles looking to meet other singles.
So, I bought a ticket, not as a love coach, but as a participant.
Shockingly, I’d never attended a singles event. I’m not sure how this has escaped me, but I’ve always judged these kinds of events as cringy and for desperate people. I’m not cringy or desperate!
However, I was craving connection, and this event sounded different from what a pictured a typical speed dating event to be.
So, I showered, shaved, and dressed up cute. I drove to the event and parked in front, where I had a view of the front door.
And I decided I wouldn’t go.
“It’s going to be lame.”
“I bet it’s full of nerds.”
“I won’t find anyone attractive or interesting.”
“This is a waste of time.”
That’s what went through my head for 15 minutes as I waffled about attending. And then I watched people slowly start to trickle in. And I realized that my judgment was really just a way to mask my fear.
The fear of attending something new. Of being truly seen and or having to make awkward small talk. Or pairing up with someone I’m not interested in. Or getting rejected by the hottie in the corner.
I sat there and realized that I wasn’t the only one scared, and that I probably had lots in common with these brave folks. So, I got out of the car and dragged my ass to the front door.
And that’s where I met Allie Hoffman, the brains behind The Feels. A sweet, quirky, and delightful New Yorker with a big personality and, what I would soon discover, a big heart, and an excellent way of facilitating.
I won’t give you the play-by-play of what happens at these events, but I thoroughly enjoyed the whole experience. There was indeed a bit of awkward small talk at the beginning, but as soon as Allie started guiding us through the evening, it was clear we were in expert hands.
She’d created a lovely, safe, and warm container for us to drop into our bodies and experience a little relational magic for a few hours.
I had the opportunity to connect with several women, participating in various somatic experiences designed to help us move beyond our heads and into our bodies. We practised giving and receiving compliments, explored ways to experience closeness playfully, and explored how to take small risks in a very safe and playful container.
I was so glad that I pushed myself to attend. I learned a few new workshop tricks, got to connect with lovely people, and also felt a little pride at having overcome my fear and stepped into this new experience.
And, at the end of the night, I got two phone numbers.
One from a woman I’d connected with, and the other, Allie, the event’s facilitator.
We chatted after the event, and there was chemistry between us. A work crush was developing.
So, we kept in touch and tried to find ways to work together.
Allie invited me to a private, salon-style event where we discussed the challenges of dating in your 40s, 50s, and beyond. I shared her events with my audience because I found the whole experience to be so potent and different than the standard dating advice of “just put yourself out there and be yourself!”
Feb 13-16, 2026 Woodbourne, NY
And then, we decided to offer a singles retreat together, blending my playful, communication-driven workshops with her somatic-driven experiences.
Although we’re different in many ways, we share a great deal in common. We both value creating safe, playful, and beautiful containers. We prioritize connection, feeling, and community. And, we love love.
We’re both thrilled to offer you this experience. And on a long Valentine’s Day weekend, no less.
A long weekend at AKERA—a stunning retreat space in the Catskills, 2 hours from NYC, with quiet corners for reflection, open areas for honest conversation, a sauna for when you need to shift your state, and cozy spaces to retreat to (or sprawl out in a cuddle puddle if that’s your vibe).
Four days and three nights of workshops, play, rest and connection. Experiences that aren’t about fixing you or teaching you how to ‘win’ at dating. They’re about reconnecting with what’s true for you: your body’s wisdom, your actual desires, what it feels like to be present with someone else without performing.
And a Valentine’s Day that’s actually about you. Not another night of overpriced roses and impossible expectations, but a chance to invest in your relational life in a way that feels nourishing, playful, and full of connection.
Picture this: A well-paced blend of connection exercises, morning movement, chef-prepared meals, and quiet moments of reflection for yourself. Daily workshops and exercises designed to get you in connection with others, taking risks, and getting out of your head. Lazy naps in the yoga room, spontaneous sharing with other retreat goers, and a container designed to hold you.
And yes, there will be moments of awkwardness, but that’s where the magic lives. And we’ll be here guiding you through the whole experience.
If you’ve been thinking about stepping away from the apps and into something tangible, this is it.
It might stretch you. Hell, I almost didn’t walk through the door to my first singles event. But I’m so glad I did, and I think you will be too.
We’re capping this at 30 people (aiming for 50/50 gender balance, hetero and monogamous folks). It’ll likely sell out.
Feb 13-16, 2026 Woodbourne, NY
If this is tugging at you, don’t sit in your car for 15 minutes like I did. Just come in.
If you have any questions, please leave a comment or email me directly: shaun@thelovedrive.com. I’m excited to meet you.
