The best way to have a caring partner is to be one yourself. This isn\u2019t always easy, but it\u2019s simple. For years, I used to wish someone would have a deep fondness for me and make me feel cared for and thus safe and loved. They wouldn\u2019t have to fix all my problems, just show real interest and concern, and listen. As it turns out, much of receiving these feelings of affection, understanding, and respect was in my hands all along.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m in a relationship now, and the number one thing I\u2019ve learned so far is this: If you want to feel fondness from others, show fondness for others. Reciprocity is a powerful force. When the giving is honest, it feels natural to want to give back, not forced or manipulative. Studies have suggested immense emotional and physical benefits associated with giving.<\/p>\n
Lately, I’ve paid attention to which casual phrases my partner uses that make me feel cared for, respected, and loved. We both have a deep fondness for each other, and now, I\u2019m making an effort to use them more often. I\u2019m not perfect, but it feels good to say and mean them\u200a \u2014 \u200aand to frequently hear them in return.<\/p>\n
People with deep fondness for each other often say these phrases casually:<\/h2>\n1. ‘Take all the time you\u00a0need’<\/h3>\n
In my last relationship, I constantly felt bad for wanting to work. I was just starting as an entrepreneur, and though I didn\u2019t put in Bill Gates-like hours, the usual 40 of a common job just didn\u2019t cut it. My girlfriend at the time was a student. She had more time on her hands, and she often asked: \u201cWhen are you done? Can we hang out now?\u201d I was always excited to spend time with her after work, but these constant check-ins made me feel guilty even though I loved my work.<\/p>\n In my current relationship, hearing the words, \u201cTake all the time you need,\u201d gives me huge relief. Whenever one of us has to finish something before we talk on Zoom or make dinner together, the other tells them to move on their schedule, and it\u2019s liberating. It makes me want to get my work done faster \u200a\u2014 \u200aminus the guilt.<\/p>\n Being in a relationship with deep fondness doesn\u2019t handcuff you to your partner, but sometimes, we put the shackles on ourselves\u200a \u2014 \u200ausually out of fear. We\u2019re afraid we\u2019re being selfish if we pursue our interests, and that they might reject us if we don\u2019t spend every second with them. Ironically, often, both partners have this fear, making it wholly unfounded.<\/p>\n Your partner is their own person. They\u2019re busy. They want to do many things and, a lot of them, they\u2019ll have to do on their own. Let them. In a healthy relationship, one of the best gifts you\u2019ll ever give\u200a and receive\u200a\u200ais space. Don\u2019t incessantly text your partner with real-time updates, and don\u2019t expect them to do the same in return. Only if you\u2019re apart will you learn what it\u2019s like to miss them. You\u2019ll appreciate them and the time you spend together so much more if you allow yourself this feeling in healthy doses.<\/p>\n RELATED: 12 Magic Phrases To Say To The Person You Love Way More Often<\/strong><\/p>\n In the music video for their song \u201cFamily,<\/em>\u201d the Chainsmokers tell the story of Rory, their cameraman. Rory joined them when they were still unknown, and then, like the band, he became famous. Eventually, he became so successful that he lost himself, and, after a bad car accident, he fell into a spiral of negative thoughts. The band, his friends, and his family all continued to make time for him and helped him get back on track. Had they not, he might not be here today.<\/p>\n The video ends with a simple message: it\u2019s cool to check up on your friends. When it comes to a partner you have deep fondness for, checking in on them isn\u2019t just cool, it\u2019s necessary. When they appear or sound worried to you, tell them. Let them know you\u2019re under the impression that they feel a certain way: sad, angry, scared, anxious\u200a \u2014 \u200awhatever the emotion might be, shine a light on it.<\/p>\n Notice how different this is from saying, \u201cYou\u2019re angry.\u201d The truth is you can\u2019t actually<\/em> know. You don\u2019t know how anyone<\/em> is feeling except yourself. But you can make an educated guess, and if you deliver that guess in kind, people will thank you for it. Sometimes, it\u2019s better to do this a few hours after the fact because it gives both you and your partner time to reflect on what\u2019s going on, but \u201cHey, you looked worried earlier, you OK?\u201d often goes a long way.<\/p>\n Making room for what\u2019s important to your partner is a two-part job: First, you have to create a safe space for them to share how they feel. Then, there also needs to be time to talk through those feelings and, eventually, help them figure out what to do about them.<\/p>\n \u201cDo you want to talk about this now or later?\u201d is a great sign of commitment and dedication. It shows you\u2019re willing to take a break from whatever you\u2019re doing to listen to your better half. The phrase also accepts that they might not be ready to talk about this problem, either because they\u2019re busy or because they need to think more about it on their own.\u00a0<\/p>\n It signals you\u2019re open and willing to help, not just now, but whenever they feel like they need it the most. When it comes to not only our intimate relationships but also our friendships, few actions are more powerful than letting them know you have their back.<\/p>\n![\"couple](\"https:\/\/www.yourtango.com\/sites\/default\/files\/image_blog\/2026-07\/couple-share-fondness-each-other-take-time-need.png\" "\\"People")
<\/span> Dragana Gordic \/ Shutterstock<\/span><\/p>\n2. ‘Are you OK? You looked worried’<\/h3>\n
3. ‘Do you want to talk about this now or\u00a0later?’<\/h3>\n
![\"couple](\"https:\/\/www.yourtango.com\/sites\/default\/files\/image_blog\/2026-07\/couple-share-fondness-each-other-talk-about-now-later.png\" "\\"People")
<\/span> wee dezign \/ Shutterstock<\/span><\/p>\n