{"id":541,"date":"2026-07-30T03:41:22","date_gmt":"2026-07-30T03:41:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/replyguru.online\/?p=541"},"modified":"2026-07-30T03:41:22","modified_gmt":"2026-07-30T03:41:22","slug":"so-you-want-to-be-adored","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/replyguru.online\/?p=541","title":{"rendered":"So, you want to be adored?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div dir=\"auto\">\n<p>Someone asked me recently, \u201cWhat\u2019s something that you crave that you rarely say out loud?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><span>I was answering sexy <\/span>Q&amp;A on IG<span>, so perhaps they wanted me to share a fantasy of mine, but what came up instead was something that I\u2019ve been truly craving for a long time, but that I would rarely admit to myself, let alone thousands of you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u201cTo be seen, love, adored, and worshipped by a woman. My special woman.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><iframe srcdoc=\"&lt;!doctype html&gt;&#10;&lt;html&gt;&#10;  &lt;head&gt;&#10;    &lt;meta charset=&quot;utf-8&quot; \/&gt;&#10;    &lt;meta name=&quot;viewport&quot; content=&quot;width=device-width,initial-scale=1&quot; \/&gt;&#10;    &lt;style&gt;&#10;      html, body {&#10;        margin: 0;&#10;        padding: 0;&#10;        overflow: hidden;&#10;        background: transparent;&#10;      }&#10;&#10;      .instagram-media {&#10;        margin: 1px auto 0 !important;&#10;      }&#10;    &lt;\/style&gt;&#10;  &lt;\/head&gt;&#10;  &lt;body&gt;&#10;    &lt;blockquote&#10;      class=&quot;instagram-media&quot;&#10;      data-instgrm-captioned&#10;      data-instgrm-permalink=&quot;https:\/\/instagram.com\/p\/DQ7ZgWQj4uh\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading&quot;&#10;      data-instgrm-version=&quot;14&quot;&#10;      style=&quot;background:#FFF; border:0; border-radius:3px; box-shadow:none; margin:1px auto 0; max-width:540px; min-width:326px; padding:0; width:calc(100% - 2px);&quot;&#10;    &gt;&lt;\/blockquote&gt;&#10;    &lt;script async src=&quot;https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/embed.js&quot;&gt;&lt;\/script&gt;&#10;    &lt;script&gt;(function() {&#10;    const postHeight = () =&gt; {&#10;      const doc = document.documentElement;&#10;      const height = Math.max(&#10;        document.body ? document.body.scrollHeight : 0,&#10;        document.body ? document.body.offsetHeight : 0,&#10;        doc ? doc.scrollHeight : 0,&#10;        doc ? doc.offsetHeight : 0&#10;      );&#10;      if (height &gt; 0) {&#10;        parent.postMessage({ type: 'substack-instagram-embed-resize', height }, '*');&#10;      }&#10;    };&#10;    const scheduleMeasure = () =&gt; {&#10;      window.requestAnimationFrame(() =&gt; { window.setTimeout(postHeight, 50); });&#10;    };&#10;    window.addEventListener('load', scheduleMeasure);&#10;    window.setTimeout(scheduleMeasure, 250);&#10;    window.setTimeout(scheduleMeasure, 1000);&#10;    const root = document.documentElement || document.body;&#10;    if (root &amp;&amp; typeof MutationObserver !== 'undefined') {&#10;      const observer = new MutationObserver(scheduleMeasure);&#10;      observer.observe(root, { attributes: true, childList: true, subtree: true, characterData: true });&#10;    }&#10;    if (document.body &amp;&amp; typeof ResizeObserver !== 'undefined') {&#10;      new ResizeObserver(scheduleMeasure).observe(document.body);&#10;    }&#10;  })();&lt;\/script&gt;&#10;  &lt;\/body&gt;&#10;&lt;\/html&gt;\" title=\"Instagram post\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" allowfullscreen=\"\" allow=\"encrypted-media\" sandbox=\"allow-same-origin allow-scripts allow-popups allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\" style=\"height:520px;width:100%;border:0px;display:block;background:transparent;\" class=\"instagram-embed-frame\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>By \u201cspecial woman,\u201d I mean to distinguish it from the love and adoration I might receive from friends or family, both of which are vital, but aren\u2019t quite the same as a romantic connection that you pour yourself into.<\/p>\n<p>And of course, I\u2019m looking for reciprocity. What\u2019s the point of being adored if you can\u2019t adore the person back?<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m sure narcissists benefit and may even require this kind of arrangement, and fellow followers have accused me of being a narcissist before. My therapist says I\u2019m not a narcissist, despite what the internet thinks.<\/p>\n<p>I do, however, struggle with these dynamics:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<p>a disorganized attachment style (the spiciest of styles)<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<p>loneliness and touch-starvation (skin hunger)<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<p>a childhood that lacked emotional warmth (emotionally immature parents)<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<p>drug addiction and alcoholism (my solution to everything on this list)<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<p>difficulty sitting with disappointment, grief, and sadness (never learned how until now)<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<p>fear of disappointing others (people pleasing)<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<p>intense fomo (resistance to grieving potential)<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>And, despite all these challenges, I deeply desire mutual adoration and worship.<\/p>\n<p>And, judging by your responses, so do you. I received hundreds of DMs and comments from people, primarily women, saying they also wanted this.<\/p>\n<p>And a few thanked me for being a man vulnerable and honest enough to voice this desire out loud.<\/p>\n<p>You rarely hear men admit they want to be seen and loved \u2013 not from ego, but from a tender heart that yearns.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><em>Thank you for saying this out loud \u2764\ufe0f<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>I feeeeeeel that, but a man for me, please<\/em><span>.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><em>Yessss I want this for you and me and everyone \ud83d\udc4f<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Beautiful! To be seen, loved, and adored \u2764\ufe0f YES! And seen and celebrated in our magical vulnerability and awesomeness! \ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udd25<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>I recorded this from your story yesterday. Truth. Saying the quiet parts out loud!! \u2764\ufe0f<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>It\u2019s hard to own this desire because it doesn\u2019t seem appropriate to publicly admit that you want someone to worship and adore you. It\u2019s giving narcissism, for sure.<\/p>\n<p>But if you peek under the surface, you\u2019d likely find a lot of little inner children who are reaching out for a special kind of love they never received from their parents and caretakers. And they\u2019re hoping to find it in another adult through a special romantic relationship.<\/p>\n<p>Perhaps I\u2019m projecting, but that\u2019s where my desire originates.<\/p>\n<p>And we\u2019re also fed Hollywood and Disney rom-com fairy tale love stories that actually mimic and reinforce this desire to be seen, loved, and adored by that one special person. That love at first sight, one in a million chance encounters, needle in a haystack kind of love. Since we\u2019re aware of these traps, we tend to shy away from being truly honest about our desire to be adored.<\/p>\n<p>But, Disney be damned, it\u2019s still what I want. And I\u2019m going to name it.<\/p>\n<div class=\"captioned-image-container\">\n<figure>\n<div class=\"image2-inset\"><picture><source type=\"image\/webp\" srcset=\"https:\/\/substackcdn.com\/image\/fetch\/$s_!m6RA!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep\/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fcedeab10-c6e2-459a-bd5f-289bb4054687_1179x931.heic 424w, https:\/\/substackcdn.com\/image\/fetch\/$s_!m6RA!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep\/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fcedeab10-c6e2-459a-bd5f-289bb4054687_1179x931.heic 848w, https:\/\/substackcdn.com\/image\/fetch\/$s_!m6RA!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep\/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fcedeab10-c6e2-459a-bd5f-289bb4054687_1179x931.heic 1272w, https:\/\/substackcdn.com\/image\/fetch\/$s_!m6RA!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep\/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fcedeab10-c6e2-459a-bd5f-289bb4054687_1179x931.heic 1456w\" sizes=\"100vw\"\/><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/substackcdn.com\/image\/fetch\/$s_!m6RA!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep\/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fcedeab10-c6e2-459a-bd5f-289bb4054687_1179x931.heic\" width=\"1179\" height=\"931\" data-attrs=\"{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https:\/\/substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com\/public\/images\/cedeab10-c6e2-459a-bd5f-289bb4054687_1179x931.heic&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:931,&quot;width&quot;:1179,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:73883,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image\/heic&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https:\/\/shaungalanos.substack.com\/i\/179153065?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fcedeab10-c6e2-459a-bd5f-289bb4054687_1179x931.heic&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/substackcdn.com\/image\/fetch\/$s_!m6RA!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep\/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fcedeab10-c6e2-459a-bd5f-289bb4054687_1179x931.heic 424w, https:\/\/substackcdn.com\/image\/fetch\/$s_!m6RA!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep\/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fcedeab10-c6e2-459a-bd5f-289bb4054687_1179x931.heic 848w, https:\/\/substackcdn.com\/image\/fetch\/$s_!m6RA!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep\/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fcedeab10-c6e2-459a-bd5f-289bb4054687_1179x931.heic 1272w, https:\/\/substackcdn.com\/image\/fetch\/$s_!m6RA!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep\/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fcedeab10-c6e2-459a-bd5f-289bb4054687_1179x931.heic 1456w\" sizes=\"auto, 100vw\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"sizing-normal\"\/><\/picture><\/div><figcaption class=\"image-caption\">There\u2019s a little boy in here yearning to be loved.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<p>Recently, my therapist said that she\u2019s noticing I\u2019m often the one doing most of the initiating with the women I\u2019m dating. I reach out, I make the plans, I pursue. And while this is happening, I\u2019m not aware that their interest in me might be less than mine in them.<\/p>\n<p>And it\u2019s tough, because the cultural and social expectations are that men should do most of the courting, leading, and pursuing. And even though I tell my followers to throw those expectations away, I still can\u2019t help but abide by them most of the time.<\/p>\n<p>But, she\u2019s right. I over-pursue. Mostly because deep down, a little boy is yearning for love, and often, yearning for it from women who aren\u2019t entirely available.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><br \/>\n<br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/shaungalanos.substack.com\/p\/i-want-to-be-adored-by-a-special\">Source link <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Someone asked me recently, \u201cWhat\u2019s something that you crave that you rarely say out loud?\u201d I was answering sexy Q&amp;A on IG, so perhaps they wanted me to share a fantasy of mine, but what came up instead was something that I\u2019ve been truly craving for a long time, but that I would rarely admit [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":542,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"pmpro_default_level":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"tmauthors":[],"class_list":["post-541","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-relationships","pmpro-has-access"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/replyguru.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/541","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/replyguru.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/replyguru.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/replyguru.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/replyguru.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=541"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/replyguru.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/541\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/replyguru.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/542"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/replyguru.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=541"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/replyguru.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=541"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/replyguru.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=541"},{"taxonomy":"tmauthors","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/replyguru.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftmauthors&post=541"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}