Once they grow up, children raised by narcissistic parents may constantly search for the right words they believe will keep others happier and more attached to them than their parents were.\u00a0<\/p>\n
They\u2019d often rather prevent disagreements from starting altogether because they desperately yearn for the kind of calm, respectful connections their parents never gave them.<\/p>\n
People with narcissistic parents tend to say these phrases once they grow up:<\/h2>\n1. \u2018I\u2019m sorry\u2019<\/h3>\n
Narcissists are notoriously bad at apologizing, if they do so at all. Their attempts often sound fake and rarely show any real emotion. Growing up with a parent like this, in turn, can cause their children to constantly apologize as a defense mechanism.<\/p>\n These kids were constantly on edge growing up because they never knew when their parent\u2019s behavior would change. Now, they feel like they can\u2019t get a solid read on people and want to keep the peace even when there\u2019s no argument at all.<\/p>\n RELATED: Kids Raised By Parents Who Never Apologized Usually Have 9 Habits As Adults<\/strong><\/p>\n Most children raised by narcissistic parents grew up in an unstable home.\u00a0They may have been lashed out at often, or blamed for everything that went wrong. This put them on the defensive. They wanted to stay out of their parents\u2019 way to avoid any punishments.<\/p>\n As adults, they tend to be hyper-independent, relying only on themselves because they were the only stability they had. They may do anything they can to stay out of people\u2019s way. Even if they are close friends who value them, it\u2019s easier to tell them not to worry about them; they will take care of themselves. Don\u2019t worry about them. They\u2019ll always figure it out. After all, that\u2019s what they had to do as kids.<\/p>\n RELATED: Truly Narcissistic Parents Usually Use 5 Behaviors To Avoid Taking Any Accountability<\/strong><\/p>\n Narcissistic parents often disregard their children. They’re focused on their wants and needs, doing whatever it takes to get what they want. This can leave a lasting impression. Their children may have made sacrifices to keep their parents happy, rarely getting what they wanted. They were more concerned about pleasing their parents, which can lead to overwhelming people-pleasing behaviors as adults.<\/p>\n When their friends want to do something that they don\u2019t, they\u2019re likely to go along with it. They don\u2019t want to bother anyone or come across as needy. As children, they couldn\u2019t ask for what they wanted because their parents called all the shots. Instead of advocating for themselves, they\u2019ll go along with what everyone else is doing.<\/p>\n RELATED: 11 Phrases Parents Say That Unintentionally Create People-Pleasing Kids<\/strong><\/p>\n Parents who are more consumed with themselves than their children\u00a0are often insensitive. They may take out their feelings on them, making it seem like they were always mad. This can leave children with low confidence, thinking everyone is mad at them all the time and that they need to act a certain way to keep the peace. It\u2019s hard to trust that people care when their parents never gave them the attention and reassurance that they needed.<\/p>\n While I didn\u2019t grow up in a situation like this, I certainly understand the feeling. I always think the people I love are mad at me, and I could only imagine how it feels for people who had traumatic childhoods.<\/p>\n RELATED: Kids Raised By Parents With Major Narcissistic Tendencies Usually Carry 8 Habits Into Adulthood <\/strong><\/p>\n Self-obsessed parents are always looking for\u00a0a way to control their children. They will manipulate every situation to make themselves look good while their child feels blamed. Children like this often apologize even when they didn\u2019t do anything wrong. When their parents are upset with them, even if it has nothing to do with their behavior, they\u2019ll instantly take the blame to remedy the situation. However, this creates a guilt complex in adulthood.<\/p>\n Adults like this struggle to admit when other people hurt them. They were manipulated through most, if not all, of these childhood experiences and are more focused on maintaining their relationships. They\u2019ll say it\u2019s okay and take accountability even if they had nothing to do with what happened.<\/p>\n RELATED: You Were Probably Raised By A Narcissist If These 11 Things Still Feel Like Your Fault<\/strong><\/p>\n Hyper-independence is a trauma response. Growing up in a volatile home isn\u2019t easy to navigate, and it can change how people interact with others. Likely, they couldn\u2019t depend on their parents for anything. They were too caught up in their own lives to take care of their children.<\/p>\n When they grow up, they still struggle to put trust in other people. They\u2019d rather do everything themselves to ensure things get done than give someone else a chance to help them out. While our parents are supposed to teach us independence, not all methods are positive. By ignoring their children in favor of their own interests, they teach them they can only depend on themselves. This creates a vicious cycle that distances them from other people.<\/p>\n RELATED: People Who Never Ask For Help Usually Have These 8 Reasons<\/strong><\/p>\n Feeling like a burden is terrible. It feels like no one around us cares enough to lend a hand or talk to us. This fear often forms in childhood when\u00a0narcissistic parents ignore their children and their needs. They act frustrated when their kids come to them, leaving them with the lasting impression that they are not good enough and no one is willing to help.<\/p>\n Later in life, it\u2019s hard to shake this concept, even when they are surrounded by people who love them. I don\u2019t know about you, but when my friends need something, I\u2019m there. It doesn\u2019t bother me. In fact, I believe that\u2019s my job as a close friend. But when someone\u2019s parents always refused to give them this grace, they may be afraid to ask for it.<\/p>\n RELATED: If Someone Always Felt Like A Burden Growing Up, They Probably Have 11 Specific Habits As An Adult<\/strong><\/p>\n Narcissistic parents often\u00a0encourage their children to stifle their feelings. They can\u2019t be bothered with their child\u2019s emotions. This can lead to long-lasting struggles with processing their emotions. They didn\u2019t get to focus on themselves because they were too busy soothing their egotistical parents and trying to stay on their good side. This becomes exhausting, and they may not realize how they feel because they never took time to work through them.<\/p>\n Saying they don\u2019t know how they feel sounds like a cop-out, especially when someone is waiting for you to share your side of a situation. Whether it\u2019s in a romantic relationship or friendship, talking through feelings is one of the most important things you can do.<\/p>\n RELATED: 11 Things Parents Wish Their Adult Children Knew They Do That Seriously Hurt Their Feelings<\/strong><\/p>\n Again, processing emotions was probably not allowed in a home with narcissistic parents. They may have shamed their children for strong feelings. They\u2019d tell them not to cry, or to let it go and move on with little compassion.<\/p>\n This can leave them bottling up their feelings and making excuses for them when they do come out. Their parents were allowed to lash out and share their emotions, but often punished their children for showing theirs. When they become adults and form their own relationships, their feelings will inevitably be hurt at times. That\u2019s part of life. But they may keep believing they can\u2019t be upset and try to ignore their emotions instead of working through them.<\/p>\n![\"man](\"https:\/\/www.yourtango.com\/sites\/default\/files\/image_blog\/2026-09\/kids-raised-by-truly-narcissistic-parents-often-say-im-sorry.png\" "\\"kids")
<\/span> Shutterstock<\/span><\/p>\n2. \u2018Don\u2019t worry about me\u2019<\/h3>\n
![\"woman](\"https:\/\/www.yourtango.com\/sites\/default\/files\/image_blog\/2026-09\/kids-raised-by-truly-narcissistic-parents-often-say-dont-worry-about-me.png\" "\\"kids")
<\/span> PeopleImages from Getty Images Signature via Canva<\/span><\/p>\n3. \u2018You can choose’<\/h3>\n
![\"man](\"https:\/\/www.yourtango.com\/sites\/default\/files\/image_blog\/2026-09\/kids-raised-by-truly-narcissistic-parents-often-say-you-can-choose.png\" "\\"kids")
<\/span> PeopleImages from Getty Images Signature via Canva<\/span><\/p>\n4. \u2018You must be mad at me\u2019<\/h3>\n
![\"man](\"https:\/\/www.yourtango.com\/sites\/default\/files\/image_blog\/2026-09\/kids-raised-by-truly-narcissistic-parents-often-say-you-must-be-mad-at-me.png\" "\\"kids")
<\/span> Jupiter Images via Canva<\/span><\/p>\n5. \u2018It was my fault\u2019<\/h3>\n
![\"woman](\"https:\/\/www.yourtango.com\/sites\/default\/files\/image_blog\/2026-09\/kids-raised-by-truly-narcissistic-parents-often-say-it-was-my-fault.png\" "\\"kids")
<\/span> Vitaly Gariev from Pexels via Canva<\/span><\/p>\n6. \u2018No problem, I\u2019ll do it\u2019<\/h3>\n
![\"man](\"https:\/\/www.yourtango.com\/sites\/default\/files\/image_blog\/2026-09\/kids-raised-by-truly-narcissistic-parents-often-say-ill-do-it.png\" "\\"kids")
<\/span> Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels via Canva<\/span><\/p>\n7. \u2018I don\u2019t want to bother you\u2019<\/h3>\n
![\"woman](\"https:\/\/www.yourtango.com\/sites\/default\/files\/image_blog\/2026-09\/kids-raised-by-truly-narcissistic-parents-often-say-dont-want-to-bother-you.png\" "\\"kids")
<\/span> SDI Productions from Getty Images via Canva<\/span><\/p>\n8. \u2018I don\u2019t really know how I feel\u2019<\/h3>\n
![\"man](\"https:\/\/www.yourtango.com\/sites\/default\/files\/image_blog\/2026-09\/kids-raised-by-truly-narcissistic-parents-often-say-dont-know-how-feel.png\" "\\"kids")
<\/span> PeopleImages from Getty Images Signature via Canva<\/span><\/p>\n9. \u2018I know I shouldn\u2019t be upset about this\u2019<\/h3>\n
![\"woman](\"https:\/\/www.yourtango.com\/sites\/default\/files\/image_blog\/2026-09\/kids-raised-by-truly-narcissistic-parents-often-say-know-shouldnt-be-upset.png\" "\\"kids")
<\/span> Karola G from Pexels via Canva<\/span><\/p>\n