“A passion for pleasure is the secret of remaining young,”<\/span> said Oscar Wilde. Poor Oscar, though, who lived in unenlightened times and suffered for his pleasures. But I did learn a thing or two from his highly quotable self about living a velvety, extravagant existence.\u00a0<\/p>\n If this is our only shot at living, we must indulge a little bit. Am I wrong, darling? So reach for all the meaning you want, but here are my thoughts on how to truly focus on your own happiness and pleasure while being just the right amount of selfish.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Are you the always-present trooper who shows up for every meeting, never lets anyone down, and shows up for work even when sick? Call in sick already, and <\/span>do something fun on your day off<\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n RELATED: The Art Of Being Unbothered: 5 Easy Ways To Live A Happy Life<\/strong><\/p>\n I know, I’m supposed to say “yes” to everything, and that has its place. But god, there’s too much to do, too many invitations, too much of everything. Relish the chance to <\/span>turn down something you don’t want to do<\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n Sign up for a roller derby team. Sky-dive. Dirty dance. Yeah, Baby’s not in the corner anymore.<\/span><\/p>\n RELATED: The Art Of Being Unbothered: 10 Simple Ways To Live A Happier Life<\/strong><\/p>\n Break out a Swedish ski instructor persona at a bad meat market bar. Or take a solo road trip and pretend you’re a moody French woman at a rest stop Hardee’s. How you develop your character depends on whether you’re a pantser or a plotter (i.e., you make it up as you go or you like to plan ahead). Either way is fine. Trust me, you’ll love it and so will Mimi, your inner French feline.<\/span><\/p>\n Yeah, I was raised with a solid work ethic and the belief that “I can handle this stuff. All this stuff.” But holy cow, I hate housekeeping. I still do a lot of it, but now and again, I hire a service to get in there deep. (Into my mess, I mean.) Believe me when I say I’ll gladly sacrifice a daily latte in favor of a professionally cleaned apartment.<\/span><\/p>\n Don’t save these for Halloween. Who wants to walk through their entire time on earth blending in? Buy the dramatic black hat and wear it to Target, unabashedly. Put on a wig to dine at a posh place. Rent a latex dress to up the ante on your attitude, and <\/span>see if you can’t fake your way through a wedding at the Plaza<\/span>. Or just wear it to ride the subway; you’ll find your people.<\/span><\/p>\n Help yourself, but harm no one. I like to talk a big, bad woman game, but the truth is\u00a0I’m a super-softy. Sometimes, just loving everybody feels so good (especially when you expect nothing in return). Sometimes, just giving in to the quiet I crave is the key. It might not sound all that lick-your-chops luscious, but I think these things are very important and very quietly hedonic in a world that asks us always to live our pleasures out loud.<\/span><\/p>\n RELATED: The Art Of Making It Count: 10 Simple Ways To Live A Meaningful Life<\/strong><\/p>\n It sounds more saintly than sinful, but there’s a charge of pleasure that comes from being able to take a crisp bill from your wallet and give it to someone in need. When you do it, <\/span>don’t question a panhandler’s motives<\/span>. Just trust. It’s an indulgence that feels nice all around.<\/span><\/p>\n Buy lunch for\u00a0a young colleague who tells you funny stories. Or spring a no-reason, feel-no-guilt gift on a friend you like. If money’s an issue, just tell someone who needs it something nice.\u00a0<\/p>\n I still remember a woman who told me, “You’re going to be a big deal in your life. I just get this feeling about you,” and said she’d always wanted to tell me. Later on, I passed the same compliment to a young colleague who’d been laid off. When she got her new job, it was fabulous, and she reached out to express her gratitude. As I told her, I was just telling the truth.<\/p>\n Oh sure, this sounds like a personal betterment thing. But with everything going on everywhere in the world, when I take time out to sit\u00a0with a book, I feel positively decadent. If you’re someone who says you just don’t have time for it, please sit down with a novel soon. It might just change your life.<\/span><\/p>\nPeople who truly enjoy life to the fullest without being totally selfish usually do a few things:<\/span><\/h2>\n
1.\u00a0They play hooky<\/span><\/h3>\n
2. They learn to say no<\/span><\/h3>\n
3. They do something their entire family will say ‘What!?’ to<\/span><\/h3>\n
![\"woman](\"https:\/\/www.yourtango.com\/sites\/default\/files\/image_blog\/2026-09\/woman-enjoying-life-fullest-shocking-family-with-announcement.png\" "\\"People")
<\/span> RDNE Stock project \/ Pexels<\/span><\/p>\n4. They make up a fake persona<\/h3>\n
5. They hire someone<\/span><\/h3>\n
6. They put on costumes<\/span><\/h3>\n
7. They give money away<\/span><\/h3>\n
8. They treat someone they love<\/span><\/h3>\n
9. They read<\/span><\/h3>\n
![\"woman](\"https:\/\/www.yourtango.com\/sites\/default\/files\/image_blog\/2026-09\/woman-enjoying-life-fullest-reading.png\" "\\"People")
<\/span> Alliance Images \/ Shutterstock <\/span><\/p>\n