Some people will find it hard to believe that anyone would want to be criticized instead of receiving a compliment, but it\u2019s actually fairly common. It turns out that what people want most is for their image of themselves to be validated, even if that image is negative.<\/p>\n
This can be particularly true for women, who already face so much pressure to look and act a certain way. Sometimes, getting feedback on what she should change from a person whose opinion a woman values feels more powerful than a compliment because it’s a way of receiving attention she thinks she can trust more than she would hearing about how great she is.<\/p>\n
Some women prefer criticism over compliments for these sad reasons<\/h2>\n1. They\u2019re afraid of being lied to<\/h3>\n
Sometimes, women don\u2019t know how to accept a compliment because they really don\u2019t think anything good they hear is true. They question the giver\u2019s sincerity, whether there\u2019s a solid reason to do so or their own insecurities are holding them back.<\/p>\n There are plenty of people who make a habit out of lying to benefit themselves, so it\u2019s not unreasonable to think someone might use empty flattery with an ulterior motive. Good judgment is important in these cases, but it\u2019s hard to be discerning when you expect people to act a certain way.<\/p>\n RELATED: Truly Miserable People Usually Tell Themselves 6 Lies On Repeat<\/strong><\/p>\n Some people get a nice mood boost from being complimented, but others feel like an extra weight has been placed on their shoulders. Women who fall into the second category think that praise creates a standard they have to live up to, or even surpass, so they have to work harder now.<\/p>\n The problem with trying to maintain an idealized image or reputation is that it can\u2019t actually be done. These women inevitably feel like they failed, which is likely to make them spiral even further.<\/p>\n No one likes dealing with someone with a huge ego, which is why most kids are encouraged to be humble instead. Some people take it too far, though, trying so hard not to think too highly of themselves that they end up not really thinking about themselves at all.<\/p>\n This can be especially problematic for women, who are pressured to be humble more often than men are. But humility that\u2019s too extreme could hold them back. This is the kind of thinking that could make them feel better about being criticized, but it\u2019s a really twisted way of thinking.<\/p>\n RELATED: Humble People Who Truly Appreciate What They Have Do These 11 Unique Things On A Regular Basis<\/strong><\/p>\n It\u2019s nearly impossible for a perfectionist to accept a compliment and really internalize its meaning. Counselor Leon Garber, LMHC, explained that \u201cmost perfectionists struggle to feel optimistic or even have a measured perspective of reality.\u201d That\u2019s not the kind of person who\u2019s going to take something kind another person says at face value.<\/p>\n Women who are perfectionists are stuck in a strange spot because they simultaneously believe they\u2019re far from perfect, but also that they can achieve perfection if they just try harder. They would never be able to take a compliment seriously when they think it will take a superhuman effort to fix their imperfections.<\/p>\n Everyone has their own sense of self-worth based on the way they see themselves, but some people get the meaning of their self-worth completely confused. Instead of it just existing, they think they have to earn it by doing more in some way.<\/p>\n As sad as it sounds, a lot of people have a hard time believing that they have a high level of worth. Society constantly pits women against each other and makes it seem like there\u2019s not enough room for everyone, so it\u2019s not surprising that they feel this way. This makes criticism feel safer to them because it\u2019s what they already believe.<\/p>\n RELATED: High Value Women Who Know Their Worth Immediately Shut Down Disrespectful Men In 11 Clear Ways<\/strong><\/p>\n It seems like being complimented should make someone who\u2019s extremely critical of themselves stop and rethink things, but the opposite usually happens. People who don\u2019t have a lot of confidence feel really uncomfortable with praise because it doesn\u2019t align with who they think they are.<\/p>\n Women can\u2019t just snap out of negative self-talk or have it cured by someone telling them they\u2019re wrong. It\u2019s certainly something that is worth addressing over time with the right support, but it doesn\u2019t happen overnight. Instead of making them feel better, a compliment can make them feel worse in this case.<\/p>\n Manipulation can be hard to identify, especially when it sounds like the exact thing you want to hear. Flattery is frequently used as a form of manipulation when someone says something nice that they don\u2019t really mean.<\/p>\n It can be hard to separate the real from the fake, so some women don\u2019t even try. They have such deep concerns about being manipulated that they can\u2019t accept genuine compliments just in case they aren\u2019t authentic. They intentionally refuse to trust anyone who\u2019s kind to them so they don\u2019t have to go through the pain of realizing they were wrong and that the person was just being manipulative.<\/p>\n RELATED: People Who Are Hard To Manipulate Usually Notice 6 Things Before Anyone Else<\/strong><\/p>\n A woman who is afraid of letting people down might interpret a compliment as something she has to live up to. It\u2019s like a standard has been set in stone and now she can\u2019t fall short, whereas criticism gives her room to grow.<\/p>\n Someone who feels this way is almost certainly a people-pleaser. These folks do everything they can \u201cin order to gain others\u2019 affection and approval,\u201d psychologist Adam Borland, PsyD, said. Even if that\u2019s the default behavior that makes them feel the most comfortable, it\u2019s bound to turn toxic quickly.<\/p>\n We\u2019re all very much a product of our upbringing, which means that women who didn\u2019t get a lot of compliments when they were growing up won\u2019t want to hear them as adults either. If their parents tended to be more critical, that\u2019s what they\u2019ll expect from the rest of the world, too.<\/p>\n Parents praising their children has become a controversial topic because some experts think acting like a kid did something great when they really didn\u2019t is sending the wrong message. But if a parent never tells their kids they\u2019re proud, they won\u2019t know how to handle it when other people do.<\/p>\n![\"woman](\"https:\/\/www.yourtango.com\/sites\/default\/files\/image_blog\/2026-07\/sad-reasons-some-women-prefer-criticism-compliments-theyre-afraid-being-lied.png\" "\\"sad")
<\/span> demaerre from Getty Images via Canva<\/span><\/p>\n2. They don\u2019t want extra pressure<\/h3>\n
3. They\u2019re confused about what humility is<\/h3>\n
4. They set unrealistic expectations for themselves<\/h3>\n
5. They think their worth depends on what others think about them<\/h3>\n
![\"woman](\"https:\/\/www.yourtango.com\/sites\/default\/files\/image_blog\/2026-07\/sad-reasons-some-women-prefer-criticism-compliments-they-think-their-worth-conditional.png\" "\\"sad")
<\/span> Yan Krukau from Pexels via Canva<\/span><\/p>\n6. They’re hypercritical of themselves<\/h3>\n
7. They don\u2019t want to be manipulated<\/h3>\n
8. They don\u2019t want to disappoint anyone<\/h3>\n
9. They aren\u2019t used to praise<\/h3>\n
![\"woman](\"https:\/\/www.yourtango.com\/sites\/default\/files\/image_blog\/2026-07\/sad-reasons-some-women-prefer-criticism-compliments-they-arent-used-praise.png\" "\\"sad")
<\/span> pixelshot via Canva<\/span><\/p>\n