Every marriage, even the best ones, have their daily stressors, and times arise when wives might reach their limit and throw out a hurtful phrase or comment in a bad moment without realizing it will only undermine their husbands and cause relationship damage moving forward.<\/p>\n
Women who casually undermine their husbands casually say these things:<\/h2>\n1. ‘Everything is fine’<\/h3>\n
Saying ‘everything is fine,’ when everything is not fine at all ultimately undermines our partners. Wives need to stop hiding their true feelings. A study from the American Psychological Association shows how suppressing your feelings increases resentment and interferes with the connection that is necessary to sustain a relationship for the long term.<\/p>\n \u2014 <\/em>Jennifer S Hargrave<\/em>, Managing Partner, Hargrave Family Law<\/em><\/p>\n RELATED: 6 ‘Glimmer Moments’ That Make A Marriage Good, According To Experts<\/strong><\/p>\n You undermine yourself and your marriage when you remind your spouse of something they did wrong in the past that has already been resolved, as if it is going to happen in the future.<\/p>\n \u2014 <\/em>Larry Michel<\/em>, Founder of the Institute of Genetic Energetics<\/em><\/p>\n RELATED: If A Wife Does These 5 Things In Her Marriage, She\u2019s Quietly Sabotaging Her Husband<\/strong><\/p>\n Any phrase that undermines your partner’s intimate performance, whether it’s to criticize their body or their prowess in bed. Few things hurt men more than feeling they can’t satisfy their partner. Hearing it from their wives can be demoralizing. Not only does it harm their self-esteem, but it can make them withdraw from you intimately and cause anxiety.<\/p>\n \u2014 <\/em>Dr Gloria Brame<\/em>, Ph.D., Therapist<\/em><\/p>\n RELATED: 6 Ways Wives Can Show Their Husbands Genuine Love \u2014 Without Saying A Single Word<\/strong><\/p>\n This casually undermining phrase is often used to minimize someone’s feelings and concerns. The phrase suggests repetitive, unproductive thought patterns but is often unhelpful when it comes to actually helping a partner who’s stuck in a rumination cycle.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u2014 <\/em>Dr. Tarra Bates-Duford<\/em>, Psychologist<\/em><\/p>\n RELATED: 11 Subtle Signs A Wife No Longer Respects Her Husband<\/strong><\/p>\n It\u2019s easy (but ultimately undermining) to compare your relationship to others. Do you have as much money as another couple? What is their house like? Do their kids go to private schools? The list goes on. \u00a0When you compare your relationship to others, you will always feel disappointed\/ The truth is everyone is at a different spot in life. It\u2019s also true that everyone didn\u2019t start at the same spot.<\/p>\n \u2014 <\/em>Lianne Avila<\/em>, <\/em>Counselor\/Therapist<\/em><\/p>\n RELATED: 5 Old-Fashioned Things Deeply Happy Couples Do On A Regular Basis<\/strong><\/p>\n Intolerance or excessive rigidity will get in the way and is ultimately undermining behavior because you’ve developed a way to keep yourself safe. You may become so rigid in certain beliefs that you make connecting with your partner difficult. You immediately shut down the conversation whenever your partner tries to raise a different opinion.<\/p>\n \u2014 <\/em>Roland Legge,<\/em> <\/em>Life Coach<\/em><\/p>\n RELATED: Women Who Won’t Tolerate Men’s Garbage Do 7 Key Things When A Guy Lets Her Down<\/strong><\/p>\n We gravitate toward and dwell on the one thing that did not go well rather than the five that did <\/em>go well. It\u2019s too common for this negativity to consume our relationships and distort our thinking. In committed relationships especially, compliments dwindle, and tones get harsher, and we end up undermining our partners. We become less forgiving and loving and more critical and shaming.\u00a0<\/p>\n The charming blemishes we may have embraced early on transform into glaring character flaws. We now know something about the origins of this sensitivity to the negative: Research on survival, anxiety, and fear supports how any negative message \u2014\u00a0words, tone, facial expression \u2014 triggers our survival drive, and that triggers our anxiety. When we’re scared, we automatically protect ourselves by withdrawing from the scene or countering with a putdown. And that makes everything worse. Because of this, it is difficult to\u00a0see beyond our partner’s\u00a0wrongdoing.<\/p>\n \u2014 <\/em>Harville Hendrix & Helen LaKelly Hunt<\/em>, Co-Creators of Imago Relationship Therapy<\/em><\/p>\n It is easy to get caught in the stress of daily life in marriage and toss out a phrase that unintentionally undermines our husband. However, being aware of these hurtful phrases that can harm your spouse is a major step to ensure you don’t undermine your efforts for a healthy marriage in the future.<\/p>\n![\"he](\"https:\/\/www.yourtango.com\/sites\/default\/files\/image_blog\/2024-09\/everything-is-fine-phrase-undermines-wives.png\" "\\"Women")
<\/span> LightField Studios \/ Shutterstock<\/span><\/p>\n2. ‘This keeps happening’<\/h3>\n
![\"couple](\"https:\/\/www.yourtango.com\/sites\/default\/files\/image_blog\/2024-09\/this-keeps-happening-phrases-undermine-wives.png\" "\\"Women")
<\/span> Dragana Gordic \/ Shutterstock<\/span><\/p>\n3. ‘You don’t satisfy me’<\/h3>\n
![\"a](\"https:\/\/www.yourtango.com\/sites\/default\/files\/image_blog\/2024-09\/you-dont-satisfy-me-phrase-undermines-wives.png\" "\\"Women")
<\/span> La Famiglia \/ Shutterstock<\/span><\/p>\n4. ‘You’re overthinking’<\/h3>\n
![\"couple](\"https:\/\/www.yourtango.com\/sites\/default\/files\/image_blog\/2024-09\/you-overthink-things-phrase-undermines-wives.png\" "\\"Women")
<\/span> Goksi \/ Shutterstock<\/span><\/p>\n5. ‘Why aren’t you more like so-and-so?’<\/h3>\n
![\"she](\"https:\/\/www.yourtango.com\/sites\/default\/files\/image_blog\/2024-09\/why-arent-you-like-so-in-so-phrase-undermines-wives.png\" "\\"Women")
<\/span> Shift Drive \/ Shutterstock<\/span><\/p>\n6. ‘Oh no you don’t’<\/h3>\n
![\"she](\"https:\/\/www.yourtango.com\/sites\/default\/files\/image_blog\/2024-09\/oh-no-you-didnt-phrase-undermines-wives.png\" "\\"Women")
<\/span> SrdjanVrebac \/ Shutterstock<\/span><\/p>\n7. ‘You did it again?’<\/h3>\n
![\"she](\"https:\/\/www.yourtango.com\/sites\/default\/files\/image_blog\/2024-09\/what-you-did-it-again-phrase-undermines-wives.png\" "\\"Women")
<\/span> BearFotos \/ Shutterstock<\/span><\/p>\n